REMEMBERING NICK

Ten days before he committed suicide at the Union Pacific caboose in downtown Kimball, Nick Gehrig spent 30 minutes walking, talking, and recording his deepest darkest feelings for a social media audience. His video, titled "Suicidal Thoughts. The realist talk you will EVER hear," was his cry for help, but the social media audience that he appealed to did not help or notify anyone.

Julia Gehrig of Kimball, the stepmother of Nickolaus Gehrig, wished that he, Nick, would have reached out in another way. Julia said, "Something Nick wanted, he wanted people to understand and he wanted to connect to people."

Julia has become the unofficial voice for Nick in an effort to help others. Nick's father, Rick died from COVID last October, so Julia feels that she is on a mission.

Julia hopes that the new national 9-8-8 suicide hotline number will help people such as Nick.

Suicide is the ninth leading cause of death in the state of Nebraska, and Nebraska ranks 29th in the nation for its suicide rate – and the rates for the past 10 years in Nebraska have been trending up.

To ease and simplify the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Congress passed the National Suicide Hotline Designation Act of 2020, mandating 9-8-8 as the three-digit phone number for suicide crisis and mental health help.

Beginning July 16, the new number, 9-8-8, will be rolled out. This 9-8-8 number will route calls to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It will make it easier for those in need to reach out. The three-digit number will provide greater access and help save lives.

The Lifeline is operational 24/7. It is free and provides confidential support for people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Nickolaus Gehrig was 39 years old. He had overcome many complex challenges in his life, including an emotionally troubled childhood along with a severe congenital hearing impairment. But with hard work and the right attitude, he was able to get his life on track with a job, a family, and the hope for a future.

But as fate would have it, Nick was a passenger in a vehicle when his boss fell asleep at the wheel, and they hit a bridge at 80 mph, according to his stepmother.

Almost five years after that horrific car wreck, unable to work, in constant pain, and struggling with his marriage, Nick's previous attempt at suicide failed, but it made him a higher risk for suicide.

During his six weeks in Kimball, Nick told his stepmother "the pain (from the wreck) was so intense that it felt like swords were constantly stabbing through him, he couldn't slept, he would have night sweats."

While in Kimball Nick was getting help, he travelled to Colorado for intensive services from a psychologist and a team was assembled to help him.

Nick chose to take his life in a public place, at the Union Pacific caboose on 2nd Street in Kimball. Late on Feb. 27, 2020, Nick hung himself off the caboose. He wasn't discovered until the following morning.

The 30 minute video he recorded and posted days before he acted on his suicide thoughts is an insight into his world of extreme emotional and physical pain.

Nick explains on the video, "I'm not into abusing drugs; I still lost everything. My hearing was almost already gone." He teeters between hope and despair in the post, "Every second is an hour to me." In one sentence he talks about giving himself a chance because people care about and love him, but then he follows it up with, "I am worthless. I can't help myself."

Talking about the car wreck, Nick said: "I was doing what I was supposed to, I was going to work. It isn't supposed to happened to me. I went to work."

After the family was notified, Julia Gehrig wrote in an email to his therapist in Colorado: "We thought he was getting better, and I had a long conversation the day before. Nick fed us what he thought we wanted to hear. We thought he was sleeping in his room. He wasn't there in the morning, and we assumed he was on a walk, as his car was parked in front. I wish we snooped through his room, but we gave him his privacy."

He explained that he couldn't bear the physical pain.

"Looking back, we missed some clues," she said. "We had faith that he could be healed and saw him as he was beautiful on the inside, not damaged, and perhaps that contributed to him being able to deceive us about his true intention."

If you or if you know anyone in a mental health crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK [8255] or Text 'HOME' the Crisis Text Line at 741741.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has resources to help you: 1) find a therapist/support group, 2) build a support network, 3) use your support network, and 4) make a Safety Plan.

And soon 9-8-8 will be activated and make it simpler and easier to contact help.